Donald Trump and Thomas Jefferson shaking hands

The “God Bless The USA Bible” costs about sixty dollars.  (It is only 59.99, but you can no longer buy a gumball with a penny.)

But what if you want one in Romania?  Well, if you get the default shipping method, it costs 92.10 to ship out here, so it costs more than 700 lei.  (According to the official exchange rates, 152.09 is 701.18 lei.  Your bank will probably charge more.)  The cheapest shipping method is 40.60,  for a grand total of just over a hundred dollars.  (what is 59 cents between friends?  A nice taste of street food?)  463.75 Ron is still more than any Bible you can buy in Romania.  But, I would probably want the fancy shipping method, so it doesn’t get lost in the post.

At that price, checked the airline prices, to see if it would be cheaper to fly to America and pick up the Bible in person.  Unfortunately, Cluj has more expensive US flights than elsewhere and fewer direct ones.  But if you are also taking time to eat a can of corned beef, cheese in a can, monosaturated donuts, and a few other American items banned in Europe, then it could be worth the jetlag.  (But please don’t bring those things to Cluj.  It is bad enough that you eat those things, if you get arrested for smuggling them into the country then your name will live in infamy.)

700 ron for a book that is mostly public domain texts.  Why not just get a free Gideon Bible and a secondhand almanac, you ask?  (If you know what an Almanac is, that is.  American almanacs have lists of important dates and documents, including the US Declaration of Independence, the US Constitution, and everything added to the God Bless America Bible besides one song’s lyrics.)

Oops, we gave it away.  You are paying sixty dollars (plus another 90 dollars for shipping) to get lyrics to a song.

Gone are the days when we would say, “going for a song” to mean something inexpensive.  No, now songs cost 700 lei, and that is just the lyrics.

It is called the Trump Bible because if you choose Trump as a referral code, then the former president receives a commission.  The Bible has nothing to do with Trump.  Although “publicans” are mentioned in it, there are no re-publicans (I guess they learned their lesson the first time.)

We don’t get a commission, but we do not think this story would be complete without a link.

And here is the song you would get the lyrics to.

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